The final post

•January 11, 2009 • 3 Comments

Back home at the heart of Europe. I’m sitting at my desk. I find myself in daydreams; not knowing what’s going on with me. Where am I? What am I supposed to do here? Well, the everyday life with family, friends and my actual work has got me back. My Vietnamese lifestyle’s still present. It would be nice to continue blogging to deal easier with the changed circumstance. But I won’t blog almost certainly about my current life. A blog about Germany would appear analogous to my Viet Nam blog. If I maintain writing, then I’d start like this: “Germany is not perfect by far. Germans are polite but insecure. It makes them act strange. Quite many Germans occupied the same aircraft on my flight home. A lot of German habits are unlike to the Vietnamese practice. My compatriots are always afraid to act off beam in this and that way. Thus they anxiously stick to their manner of perfectionism. My fellow citizens yearn for firm statements. They cannot live in uncertain case in point. More to the subject, they complain and grumble constantly. Charmingly, however goofy they are. “

I’ve got much love to both countries. My life is basically lined by luck and accomplishments. But I have written about topics which are running not yet smoothly on the other hand. Sigh, it became my main intention. Neither ones country nor culture is considered to be superior. They are different however equal. I reported about differences and picked out weak links. Others learnt from me and I learnt from my Vietnamese sphere. Thanks for your interest in my blog. Thanks for reading the posts and sharing your thoughts with me. Appreciation also goes to criticisms. The foreseen end of the blog has come.

Taipei Airport

My last days in Ha Noi passed in a flash. I met friends and was busy. Joscha and Yann left on December 30th. New Years Eve started with Italian dinner. We celebrated New Year in a bar afterwards. I did my last purchases on the following days. I started my departure day early and packed my suitcase. The taxi took me to the airport in the morning. I was able to observe the dynamically activities in the streets for last time. The traffic was catastrophic as usual. I wished to ride my motorbike again. Even so I got rid of my bike already. I was quite surprised managing check in without over luggage.

The flight had an eight hours lasting stop in Taipei. The ongoing landing in Frankfurt was astonishing. The sky was still shady at exactly 06:13 CET. Then I saw the first skyscrapers. The locals got up and illuminated their rooms. I observed the beautiful skyline and took notice to the pilot’s announcements. He informed us about the cold 3°C outside temperature. He was right; shivers ran down my spine. It was cold and my hands petrified. However, the air was fresh and clean. I took the intercity express to reach Berlin. I crossed many villages, cities and tunnels and took pleasure in the wonderful snowy scenery on the ride. The snow reflected the golden sunrays. The sky shone in light blue.

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I had to change transportation several times to get to the small little village Gussow in Brandenburg. The journey to my evaluation camp ended after more than thirty hours in a remote area. I walked twenty minutes by foot throughout snow and ice. The seminar house was sited in a forest next to a lake. Then I identified well-known faces. I was looking forward to the coming five days. My organization offered us help for reintegration. The units were mostly thrilling and controversial. We exchanged stories and had a great time together. I don’t consider my point of view different to my attitude before my exchange year. But this experience has reinforced my conviction that priorities can change due to circumstances.

I will return to Viet Nam soon. The evening crowns the day; my purpose in Viet Nam is still incomplete. Work and friends are waiting for me in Ha Noi. My project was all in all a prosperous mission. I experienced intercultural exchange. Giving and receiving insight into a different culture. I learnt much. I am not a saint as you can see. My future is uncertain. Well, what was relevant yesterday, may doesn’t count today. I thank once again for the loyal readership. I wish all of you happiness, health and success.

Best and warmest regards

Michael

My time in Viet Nam has come

•December 27, 2008 • 13 Comments

Only one week left. My flight’s on the 3rd of January. I will head to Berlin to the evaluation camp right after my arrival in Frankfurt. The seminar takes place in Gussow/Berlin, somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Subsequent get back to the grindstone. I will go back to normality; get up at half past five in the morning, come back from work around six in the evening. I am curious to discover how my life has been changed by this year. I would wallow in self pity if it didn’t change me at all.

We had to move out of our house on the 17th of December, due to the landlords missing backbone and omitted legal permit. The owner blithely ignored the problem which was provoked by them. They couldn’t stand the possible confrontation with the authorities. They mocked us and kept my deposit money in their pocket. They’re pathetic, but this circumstance won’t solve my case. We had to sell our furniture. I wrote around five hundred E-Mails to friends and acquaintances from Indigo. We got rid of everything with much effort and discounts of over fifty percent, sigh. Our hotel “Prince 57″ is not far from Hoan Kiem Lake. Thus the place’s very touristy. It is strange to be among many westerners again. The price level in Old Quarter is incredibly high. Everything is so expensive and inferior quality.

Our residence

Christmas in Viet Nam. Well, the shop window advertisement changed to a bizarre kitschy snowy something. I can even find cheesy Christmas pictures and banners in my Cau Giay District. The true acceptation of Christmas is mostly unknown. But at least the profitable strength of this event has been recognized during the years of western influence. For me, Christmas is best with family at home. But this year I stayed in Asia. I celebrated Christmas Eve with friends in Ha Noi. Besides I think that this New Years Eve will be different because it’s not the Vietnamese New Year. The Vietnamese New Year “Tet” is directed after the lunar calendar. Tet is at the end of January in 2009.

Actually, I miss my old residence. The people and the surrounding area. Even the noise of drilling, hammering and yelling of the construction workers. The melodies and singing voices of the mobile traders on their bicycles. The friendly but confused people who couldn’t stop looking at us mostly in combination with a murmured “Tay”. On the other hand I also miss the countless low-priced restaurants which supplied me all day long with snacks and delicious Vietnamese food. I miss the people who invited me for tea or rice wine. Even so the entertaining chats with locals. Further the laughter about my mispronounced Vietnamese. I miss the contrast. I found myself in a steadily changing neighborhood. My house represents the traditional style. It is located in a narrow, winding lane. It is high and contracted. My neighbors spoke no more than Vietnamese. I often observed the life from my roof terrace. I listened to Vietnamese voices, perceived the sound of motorbikes and watched the workers on their construction sites. I saw children playing, women washed clothes and men processed rice, vendors waited for customers, dogs romped around and here and there singing or whistling Vietnamese. Sometimes I was just quiet and studied. The life’s different a few streets ahead. There are large buildings, shopping centers and a developing amusement industry.

Around our residence

I haven’t had much holiday this year. Hence I stopped teaching at the beginning of December. But I kept work for Indigo and held workshops. VPV’s evaluation took place in a Welfare Center in Ba Vi, extended Ha Noi. It was all in all satisfactory. The time will tell if our comments, criticisms and encouragements will improve VPV’s operation process. I felt strange while telling my learners that the end of my teaching had come. I realized that I enjoyed my volunteering much. My pupils are important to me and I’d like to work longer with them. However, the subsequent weeks weren’t monotonous at all. I stayed in touch with many. I received SMS, E-Mails and calls. They invited me for drinks, parties and even marriages.

It is time to say goodbye. I leave my Vietnamese community. I have to return to Germany. The year passed too fast. I’d like to turn back the hands of time; spending additional time with friends. But then I remember one of my student’s words. She said: “I don’t say goodbye. I’d rather say, see you soon!” I agreed. Viet Nam, see you soon! Best wishes and a Happy New Year.

The slavery is in our minds

•December 11, 2008 • 17 Comments

The life is insane. I am quite stunned about how diverse life actually is. Sometimes I do not know what to believe. Life’s like a dream to me. Visions are unstable. First I thought to know roughly about my future. But certain plans are now uncertain. No matter what comes, it is good. I don’t fear future. Embedded you can find pictures from a Chinese artist who went to Germany in the age of thirteen. (More pictures here) Needless to say that stereotype pictures speak for the general public and I often disagree with her drawings.

We haven’t got any perfect society in our world. People create their society. We are responsible for our future. Wikipedia says a society is a population of humans characterized by patterns of relationships between individuals that share a distinctive culture and/or institutions. In Germans social order I feel like in the “Matrix“. In Viet Nam rather like in “Pleasantville“. I do not belong to the perfect civilization. I am the intruder. Either I play my role perfectly, or I am myself.

I occasionally give Joscha a ride on my motorbike. A police car recently drove in front of us. Then Joscha whispered to me: „ You know what Michael; this is how I thought about Viet Nam before my arrival. I mean the police, military and a disciplinary society which I’ve seen in media before. But, you know, it is so different and distant from that.”

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My understanding of teaching as voluntary employment is in intercultural exchange. I do not force norms and values on someone. I want to know different point of views and wish to learn from others. But I also talk about cultural differences. I want that my people altercate actively with their culture. I encourage and animate them to think differently. Tough for them, tough for me. Many foreign volunteers ask me why I live with such a burden. And continue saying, take it easy. I take it easy. My lessons are joyful and we joke around a lot. Everybody plays his role in the world. Vietnamese are very good actors. They play their role perfectly. Then I think about Ronald Reagan and his unforgettable speech in Berlin. He demanded the soviet president, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” Well, I am not as important as Mr. Reagan but I motivate my learners to tear down their walls in their minds. For sure, my way isn’t the simplest. But by this way I could experience great times.

Indigo started anew after my holiday in Laos. We attracted other people and a new Indigo administration crew started its work. They, unfortunately, never took part in Indigo before. So they are green and have to grow with their experiences. They are not aware of Intercultural learning. We held a workshop about cultural differences. I had the feeling to escape as soon as possible out of this. Harshly, I was confronted with the reality. We asked the attendants, as well as the Vietnamese key members, about their image of their own culture in comparison to others; as for example western cultures and the culture of their Asian neighbors. My apprehension was right again. I should be used to it. They came up with bloodcurdling stereotyped answers. All westerners eat fast food, are thoughtless and without sense of family, have no culture at all, take a shower in the mornings, live in big houses with garden and swimming pool…and so on. They are even miles apart from assuming their neighbor’s culture veridical. Or do you really think, that Japanese only drink tea when they wear a kimono?

They are well educated. Most of them study foreign trade or graduated already. It wasn’t amazing to me that they judged about Vietnamese culture rather positively. Indeed, they are aware of misbehavior. However a change is implicit as too difficult and not even taken into consideration at all. And this is exactly the point where we have to continue working on it.

yangliuwhateachthingsofother

In Goethe institute was an exhibition. “Hanoi transformation” consists of photo art (different pictures than in my blog) in combination with interviews. Vietnamese of any age were interviewed. I wrote down the first interview with a retired auto mechanic. He lives in Ha Noi and is 64 years old. In my opinion, he is so damn right.

“I believe that at the moment our society is deep in a dream, or maybe it’s a nightmare. Maybe we have to first have a major disaster; maybe people have to experience the consequences themselves before we can wake up from this nightmare. The dream we are dreaming is the dream of riches.

There are these mediums that are possessed by a supernatural spirit and they speak for it… I think that today in our society the people who still believe in socialism are like these mediums – there is no truth behind it; it’s all pure hallucination. To wake these mediums from their dream, to end this hallucination…Maybe it will take someone to give them a good shake to wake them up.

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It’s like a big theater piece. There are people who are not communists or socialists, but they are still wearing the costumes of the communists and socialists. And sometimes they play the role so well that they themselves believe it is real. But it’s a lie, a big lie. And they lie to themselves first, and think that they are this or they are that. And when you live so long with a big lie, and believe it, it becomes a second reality.

When I ask people here, some are high ranking officials or party members in very high positions, even they can’t tell me what this socialism is, what socialism means, they can’t give a really clear definition. Maybe that means that its value is not particularly high. Whatever! There is a group of people who use this term “socialism” for their own ends. They use it as it means to get what they want.

I would say there are three ways to look at this “socialism”. There is the first group. They know that socialism has no value anymore. They know it doesn’t exist. But they can use it; they use it to their own advantage, for their own profit, to get what they want. Then there’s the second group. They don’t know if socialism exists or not. And they are betrayed by their belief that something like socialism is somehow hanging in the air. And that we continue to try to realize it. And then there’s the third group. They know that socialism doesn’t exist. But they also don’t know how to function without it, what can then possibly remain for them. And so they hang onto it because they have breathed that air for so long. They have become accustomed to it and they think that they are themselves socialism. They are afraid of what would be left of them if socialism were taken away. Those, I think, are the three groups in Vietnamese society, the three points of view about socialism.

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The dream we are dreaming is the dream of riches. The dream of being rich, the dream of having power. Maybe it’s because until now the Vietnamese in their society had practically no chance of getting rich and having power. So now everyone who gets even a little tiny bit of something in his hands tries to get as much as possible out of it. Everyone wants to be rich. This dream is so deep within them, that they are beside themselves. And that’s why they do something that is really totally crazy and irresponsible – they destroy their own living space.

I can say this because I see it in the people here who live around me. My neighbor recycles plastic polymer. Polymer releases dioxin, something that is similar to Agent Orange and highly toxic. But although his wife and his son are already ill, he doesn’t stop; he keeps making plastic because he has earned so much money with it. I bought him a book which explains all about Agent Orange. He read it. But he keeps on making plastic because he wants to be rich! And he believes that with money you can heal all illness. But you can’t.

I don’t believe that there in any chance at all that those who are in power will willingly democratize the system. But it would be wrong to make the government responsible for everything, to blame the political leadership for what happens, that wouldn’t be fair. There are many who will now say, it all comes from the communist government. But it’s not that. Those things are now the way they are – that has a lot to do with the people here. The people in Vietnam accept it: I see that the desire, the need for freedom here in Vietnam is still very, very, very limited.

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The system of slavery, which ruled here for centuries, is still deeply rooted in peoples thinking. Whether educated or uneducated – they all still think that they give their work and their strength for someone who is above them. Slavery begins in our minds. And it is still very strong. And you have to realize what this means. The people must change first, before they can demand a new political system.

I see a root cause in Confucianism. Because particularly China, Vietnam and a few smaller countries are deeply influenced by Confucianism. When Confucianism was founded the world was very different. China was a great empire which had occupied many smaller countries. They needed someone who could stand for unity, someone they could all follow. And it was a system where there was always someone who must be obeyed, who was in control. And for a certain historical epoch that was good, it was a system that worked well. As a historical phenomenon. But under present conditions Confucianism as a system is very wrong. But in any case, the people in Vietnam have lived so long under its influence, have had it drummed into them for so long, that it’ s not something that will simply change overnight. It will take a very, very long time.

To change you have to wait for the time. And it is essential that people in Vietnam manage to get out now and then, out of their own world. Just to see how the world is. And to see that not everything is the same as the way they live – that things can actually be different. And they need to experience this difference themselves. Simply so that they can imagine something different for themselves.

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People in Vietnam today still live in their very closed societies. They are isolated from the world. And from other societies. It’s almost as if they live in a sort of desert. They don’t come into contact with anything else. For them reality is what they hear coming out of the loudspeaker. But that comes from this system. They read only the newspapers that come from this system, they watch only the TV that comes from this system. That’s why they don’t want anything else – they don’t know anything else.

I think my greatest dream … it is, that we can freely express ourselves, as free as much as you could to be yourself. And every society, every system which tries to prevent that is a great danger. People are prevented from being themselves. In other words that means: conformity.

They lose their own identity. And that is really a great, great danger. I see this danger today in our society. That is all that I have always sought in my life. You can’t be afraid of challenges and difficulties. As long as you know what you yourself want you can overcome difficulties. And as long as you are your own person, there is really nothing to fear. But when you cannot be yourself, are not permitted to be yourself, then you run the risk of losing yourself completely.

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I think the blame lies on both sides: with those who choose not to speak freely and with those who want to hinder people from speaking freely. I mean the political leaders, the government. But equally I mean the people who fearfully think only of themselves, who don’t have the courage to speak the truth. And they must bear the consequences of that. They must live with the lie…

I will go so far as to say that in our society there are many who do not have the courage to stand up for something. Because they all have this fear, like a burden on their shoulders. I see so many people to whom that apply, even high ranking politicians who have much knowledge, and many, many titles and awards and this and that…and they have no backbone, they don’t stand up straight, all because of fear and ego.

I think that the powerful are the same in all countries:  they want to have everything under control. And that’s why people have to look after themselves.”

What is my inner drive?

•November 29, 2008 • 4 Comments

Life is not always simple. It’s a constant up and down. We look for approaches. We are sometimes afflicted by doubts. Many despair of such situations and choose too fast the easiest way. However, is the easiest way the correct one? Does the way of the slightest resistance lead us always to success?

I’m a volunteer in Viet Nam. I teach English at VPV/Coma 6 and I am a key member in our dialogue group. Circumstances can complicate work. Firstly, I am not a professional teacher. Secondly, work is hindered by missing social awareness of the Vietnamese society. However, in spite of all I go on working with unbroken drive. I wondered why I don’t choose the way of the slightest resistance. A good friend sent me a book, “The purpose driven life”. It encourages me to maintain my line. I believe that the way of the slightest resistance is only a way of avoiding facing to problems. I take moments just for myself. This is important. Though, a lonesome life is a dreary life. I share my life with others. My life is ruled by relationships. It enriches my life. I walk with family and friends through life. I asked over, what is the greatest gift of your life? Many answered this question with material bits and pieces. Conversely, this is wrong in my opinion. The greatest gift of my life is time. I can earn more money, but I cannot obtain any more time. My time is restricted. Our time is restricted. Hence, whenever someone is spending time with me, this person is investing his precious time in me.

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The time with my pupils is eventful and useful for me and them. We’re a community. A community is a great warm place of friends. I commit myself to this community. I take responsibility and honesty. The lessons should be in contrast to the common practice of superficiality. My demanded goals are high aims. I need the help of others to succeed. The dialog should follow on an equal level. I am nothing special among them. Everybody has got the same rights and will be treated in the same kind way. Respect is the highest bid. Respect different opinions and take consideration of the feelings of others. I expect patience and understanding. Communities, in this case an intercultural community, will improve our social competence.

We often have a discussion about differences, yet I appeal to unity. Sure, the origin differs but we have more in common than we think. I remain realistic by some means. I know that I cannot change the society. I am although aware that I can adjust some mindsets at least. Excessively, the work here will finally alter my way of thinking. My lessons and of course every day dealings are likewise far off perfection. None of us is perfect. There are no perfect people on earth. Encouraging is better than criticizing. Protecting and keeping community is difficult. Encouraging is not always understood as good deed. Therefore it depends on the correct approach.

Indigo

The subsequent codex is kept more difficult in Viet Nam. People who have been here already will agree to following points. Most people learned to think in one direction and will always believe in it. They stick on it no matter how evidently the facts are. I should have been dead in Vietnamese traffic. Road users don’t understand that less selfishness is safer and leads them even faster to their destinations. To elbow your way through everything is always the first choice of use here. I asked one student about his everyday life. He said that queuing is unfair and it takes him always too much time. Many Vietnamese share this judgment and do not queue. Sorry, what? What is unfair about queuing? No discrimination at all – who comes first, will served first! They are often noisy and easy to temper. Discretion is missing. Many Vietnamese will say that they are friendly, respectful, polite, hospitable…shy, open minded, sensitive. Hum, only a few foreigners visit this country again. Many tourists report rip off and impolite manners. Cold comfort, the Vietnamese are troubled by the same problems. I experienced and will always suffer a setback. But the achieved result is amazing. Many of my pupils appreciate my work much. This feeling keeps me going and makes my work meaningful.

Relationships are important in our life. Make the effort to maintain them and to restore them. I work for Volunteers for Peace Vietnam. Can you see the two important words? Volunteer and peace! I work here because I have chosen to work for the community not for money. Moreover I work for peace. Rick Warren quotes in his book: “Blessed are those who work for peace…not the peace lovers because everyone loves peace. Neither blessed are the peaceable; those who keep silent and are never disturbed by anything. Blessed are those who work for peace!” Running from a problem is pretending it doesn’t exist. Sometimes we should avoid, occasionally provoke and sometimes we need to resolve problems. Peacemaking is tough work! So maybe you understand now, why my blog often deals with pointed out problems. It is difficult but worthy for my part and probably in addition for others.

One of my classes

I acquainted VPV from beginning, that I am not a troublemaker. And that I will do my best to keep the peace. I will encourage and demand to achieve the best for them and me. Whenever a problem popped up, I discussed the problem with me first. Then I talked to VPV. No matter if I was offender or victim. Maybe I am a part of the conflict and the longer I wait solving it, the greater my suffering is. I sympathized with VPV and tried to see their point of view. I value their opinion; I care about a good relationship and feel responsible to my students. I didn’t attack VPV’s management team personally, but I attacked the problem. I cooperated as much as possible. But VPV’s thinking and dealing is far away from my procedure. We couldn’t come to a conclusion. My move out six month ago was at least an agreement. We realized that we couldn’t solve the problems at that time but agreed in disagree.